shifting priorities

Yesterday when I dropped Jadon off at school, he very naturally held my hand as we crossed the street together and strode down the sidewalk toward the gate.  As we crossed the parking lot where school council members were loudly encouraging passersby to participate in some upcoming school event (including a blonde girl who appeared to look at Jadon with a measure of surprise that he was holding his dad's hand), Jadon rather quickly released my hand.  I tried to be as nonchalant about it, & not until later in the evening did I bring the matter up, after trying to hard to reassure him that I wasn't scolding him or asking him to hold my hand.

"Did you notice that you let go of my hand when we were walking through the parking lot?"

"Yeah." (with a slightly sheepish grin)

"Why did you do that?"
"I realized that I was too old to be holding hands with my dad."

"OK, that's fine, I can understand.  I hope you just know that I enjoy holding your hand, so whenever you want to hold my hand, you can, OK?"

"OK."

Then I couldn't resist... "You do remember, that about 2 months ago you told me that it didn't matter to you what other people thought of your holding my hand?"

(Another sheepish grin.)

"No worries, man.  I know you're growing up."

It is more blessed (or was that stressed?) to give than to receive

For some reason the other day Evangelina and I were talking about giving blood.  I shared how important it was and how it could save people's lives, all the while Evangelina said she could never do such a thing. I told her that both Mommy and I tried to donate blood in the past but were unable for one reason or another.  Evangelina, even though surprised that we had been willing to donate blood, persisted in saying how she couldn't do it.  Then I said, "But what if Daddy is dying and he needs your blood?  Wouldn't you give it then?" With a whimper, she replied, "Jadon can give it."

Gnosis by osmosis

Recently we heard the following Taiwanese/Hokkien/Southern Min phrases spontaneously spoken by our children:

Jadon while taking a shower: "What does /soe sengku/ mean?"  (Take a shower/bath.)

Evangelina in the car: "Goa ka li kong... " (Let me tell you...)

A boy after his dad's own fart

The other day, Jadon & I had some making up to do.  I was giving Jadon space to apologize for speaking to me disrespectfully, and as he brushed his teeth I crouched down in the bathroom and prepared to read the Bible as is our nightly custom.  As Jadon brushed his teeth, he came up to me and said he was sorry for his part in our argument, gave me a hug, then turned away as he passed gas right into my face.

As we chuckled together, the air in the room was less tense... though a bit more smelly.

Too cool to say it at school?

Last week on Jadon's second day of junior high (in a new district with yet another new start for him, Lord help him), I had the singular joy of reciprocated expression of love: as we parted at the gate I told him I love him, and he was willing to reply with the same, along with the ASL "I love you" handsign.

Contrast that with what happened within days with Evangelina as I brought her to school.  We were walking in from the parking lot and I began to quietly sing my love for her when I was rudely interrupted.  "Shhhh!  Daddy, don't say it so loud!"

"I love you M--"

(In hushed tones...) "--Shhh!  There are people here!"

Then, as Evangelina looks around and noticed that the people passed to a sufficient distance from us, my daughter relents with the command, "OK, now say it."

Multiplication of sanctification

Earlier this evening Jadon recited Psalms 1 and 23 for Akong Chang at the UC Irvine Medical Center.  The recitation was meant to bless Akong, especially as afterward I read it to him (as best I could, anyway) from the Romanized Taiwanese Bible.  Little did we realize that the nurse who was busy helping him in his room was also blessed ("energized") by his recitation, & I realized also as I was reading that Ama also got to hear God's word.  We talked about it afterward, and was glad to know that the greatest blessing fell upon the blessor, even among the "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1).

Un arbol brotando en el desierto

I was especially touched by Jadon's heartfelt prayer of protection and healing for our family as he too feels the ache and hardship of our particular burdens, especially as Akong's head injury means more time apart from JJ & me.

Motivation for education (& edification)

Today at Akong's bedside in the ICU at UCI Medical Center, Jadon spoke more Chinese (with Mommy's coaching) than I'd ever seen or heard in his life.  It was a touching scene, one I very much wanted to record but whose sanctity I was afraid to ruin by pulling out my camera during his (& Evangelina's) tearful sharing while holding Akong's hand.

"Akong, wo ai ni.  Ni zhidao wo shi shei ma?  Wo shi Jadon.  Ni yao zhidao JJ ni.de nu:er ai ni, Mina wo.de meimei ai ni, JY ni.de nu:er ai ni, Ama ye ai ni.  Ni.de jiating dou ai ni."

Biopsychosociospiritual wholes and holes

On the way up to Jadon's orthodontic appointment (during which we also planned to visit the Highland LLU clinic for the first time since our 2015 departure), I asked Jadon if he would like to visit a convalescent home with me and play the piano for the residents there.  In the past he was generally mixed about this kind of serving, so I totally left it up to him whether he wanted to play for the residents.  He immediately agreed.  As we were going in I told him I was proud of him for having the heart to serve others with his gifts, to which he matter-of-factly responded that it was also because he wanted to show off a little.  I told him it was a sign of maturity that he had that insight about himself. 

A bit earlier when I was telling Jadon about Papa Carl (an old patient of mine who suffers from Alzheimer's dementia), I explained that the dementia has slowly left him unable to take care of himself, recognize his wife, or even talk.  Jadon asked me, "What does he say when he's with his wife?" I told him that he used to say that she was "a nice lady" but that I did not know what he would say now.  Jadon said, "That's kind of both funny and sad at the same time."  A few minutes later he asked, "Is Papa Carl a Christian?"  I said he is, and Jadon asked further, "How would he know he's a Christian if he doesn't even know his own wife?"  I explained that there's now a "disconnect" between what his spirit knows and what his physical body (by way of his now disordered brain) can tell us.  

Brokenness sure leads to some interesting questions, ones I'm glad Jadon's asking.

ARRINCONADO, Episodio Uno

Escucha, no tengo mucho tiempo.  Mi nombre es Jadon, y es el año 2023, y tengo 19 años.  Hace diez años que todo empezó.  Cuando tenía nueve años, y traté de imprimir imagenes de alienígenas, alienǵenas vivos se aparecieron de veras.  ¿Quizá era un dispositivo de teletransporte?  De cualquier modo, los alienígenas me secuestraron, pero yo escapé de su planeta de origen, Andromeda, y regresé a la Tierra en un OVNI (objeto volador no identificado).  Yo tenia quince años pues, 

así que ahora la Tierra está en guerra contra los alienígenas.

-- ¡Eh, Katerín, hermanita!  ¡Hay un alienígena allí!  Es Tropa Seis, Los Ancianos.  ¡Ten cuidado!  ¡Si disparas y falles, somos muertos! --

Hay seis tipos de alienígenas.  Tropa Uno dispara rayos de energía de sus ojos, y son rojos.  Tropa Dos pueden teleportar y son anaranjados.  Tropa Tres puede desaparacer y son amarillos.  Tropa Cuatro son muy fuertes y son verdes.  Tropa Cinco puede cambiar formas y son negros.  Tropa Seís es lo más poderoso que todo.  Ellos tienen los poderes de todas las tropas, y son marrones cuando están en su forma alienígena.

-- ¡Katerín, mira!  ¡Te fallaste!  ¡Parate de bailar y disparas!  ¡Ay!  ¡Mira!  ¡Él está viniendo! --

-- ¡Ayyyy!  ¡Mi hermanita idiota!  ¡Siempre haciendo algo estupido!  Déjame tomar mi propia pistola de rayos... --

-- ¡Katerín, mira!  ¡Mi intento primero! --

¡KZAP!  ¡KZAP!  ¡KZAP!  -- ¿Ves?  ¡Esto es la manera en que debes disparar!  ¿Katerín?  ¿Katerin? --

Allí, a mi lado, había un alienígena, Tropa Cuatro.  Cada vez que una persona es matado de un alienígena, la persona se convierte en un alienígena.  Tengo no más opción que disparar a mi hermanita.

-- ¡Zu! -- va mi pistola de rayos.

Mi preciosa hermanita está muerta para siempre...

¡Lee más en Episodio Dos!

happy rhymes for happy times

This Fourth of July Jadon learned a ditty from some family friends (with kids his age): "I farted, I tooted; the air is polluted."

To that he has added the following:

"Oh someone, someone, help me please,

Dilute this smell of stinky cheese!

Oh no!  I'm starting to wheeze, 

And gosh, I've fallen to my knees!

Then I realized the truth, I'm blackin' out

And I can't avoid it, there's no way out."

Virus-free. www.avast.com

Lord, I ask that you would not break my heart with the martyrdom of my children, but Your good will be done.

Earlier this evening when we were talking about Christians being forced to fight against Christians (eg: in the Roman Empire with the gladiators), Jadon said, "I would just let them kill me."  We went on to hear the rest of the story of Saint Telemachus (as told by "Adventures in Odyssey's" Mr. Whittaker as he quotes "Foxe's Book of Martyrs") who gave his life trying to stop the senseless bloodshed in the Colosseum.  His martyrdom was reported to cause Caesar to ban the gladiator games altogether.  Jadon seemed saddened by the story.

Interestingly, he was even willing to forgo hearing a joke (an occasional bedtime treat he'd earned by getting quickly to bed after hockey) in order that we could look up more about Telemachus before I read the Bible for him.

We certainly want Jadon to live with God's Kingdom in the highest & frontmost part of his mind, even as expressed by the late martyred missionary Jim Elliott: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

Who be dissin' who?

In a moment of tongue-in-cheek frustration, Jadon quipped to me, "You're totally direspectful.  No wonder Mommy married you."

(In the past, he's barked in frustration, "I don't know why Mommy married you."  This was a new and interesting twist.)

Next life experience, please...

It had been a long day tagging along with Jadon for his piano events when we were finally able to have a more substantive meal, albeit in the car on the way home.

Evangelina, upon completing her In-n-Out cheeseburger, said from behind us, "Next burger please...."

Slightly incredulously, we ask her, "What?  You want another burger?"

"Yes, please," she replied.

In the front we start to chuckle, while from beside her Jadon laughingly interjects, "Mina, it's too late."  [It was past 8:30pm.]  "Don't you know you're not supposed to ask?  You've been alive for 7 years and you don't know you're not supoosed to ask?"

Marevelous images I hope never to forget

Yesterday when I got to Jadon's school I showed up during his recess, during which I saw he was playing happily with classmates on the basketball court.  As an adult not allowed to stay on the playground, I retreated to the central quad where we're allowed to eat lunch with our kids, & I wondered if he would notice I was there.  I watched from afar as several kids started filing toward the lunch area.  I got distracted & looked away for a moment, when I heard a "Dad!  Dad!" accompanied by a boy running toward me with a face of delight.

This morning, Evangelina was blowing kisses & doing the ASL "I love you face" (both hands, thumbs on ears while rocking side to side) from her seat as I was saying goodbye to her through the class window.

well, I guess it IS round...

This past weekend we spent some time in Marina del Rey for a meeting, & it was a challenge (as usual) to remind our children that these trips are generally outside of our own budgets, & rather are covered benefits from Daddy's work -- a gift for our family to enjoy each other in the comfort of nice amenities.  

The kids like playing in the lobbies of nice hotels, & the Marriott in MdR did have a pingpong table, a pool table, bean bag toss, & tic-tac-toe for people to play.  

What did Evangelina want to do?

"I want to play in the electric zero."

I didn't know what she was talking about until she brought me to the electric revolving door.

Response re: Wonderly and oddful

This is why the word of God says children are a gift from the Lord. They cover our sins with grace! I'm grateful for the kind words but like Paul I am the chief of all sinners. If only gray hair were all that was required 😉 tell him thank you and remind them that the Holy Spirit who lives in me lives in them working in them that which is pleasing to his will. Blessings Ray

By the way I think oddfull is probably the more accurate description. 

Wonderly and oddful

Earlier today we were talking about hair color, and Evangelina started saying that we could dye our hair if we wanted.  I told her that we didn't need to do that, and I mentioned how Pastor Ray said he used to dye his hair until he realized that his gray hair was a crown from God (from Proverbs I think), after which he just left it natural gray.  Jadon thought a bit & said, "Really?  Pastor Ray is so godly."

A moment later Jadon asked, "Dad, is there such a word as 'godful'?"  

I said "no" of course, and Jadon quickly said, if "godful" was a word then Pastor Ray would be very godful."

A sensible oxymoron.... or an oxymoronic sensibil

This evening as Jadon was learning a new piece for the soon-upcoming Bach competition, in frustration he loudly declared from the piano, "THIS PART IS SO HARD!  I have to change hands!  ARRRRGGGGGGGGGH!!!  BACH IS SUCH AN IDIOT-GENIUS!!!"

The sword of the Spirit, the word of God (usually)

The other night I was reading the Bible to Jadon, & I read the verse "if you have a sore on your head or your chin, you must go to the priest and let him examine it" (Leviticus 13:29). Oftentimes I wonder if Jadon is actually listening to what I read as he puts on his pajamas and takes his medicine for the night, but as he was going about his business, he earnestly asked, "But if they already have a sword on their head or chin, wouldn't they already be dead?"

If not worn on our sleeves, does our faith shine forth at all for others to see?

A few weeks ago while I was helping Jadon dress for one of the last practices of his first travel hockey season (Peewee A), he asked one of his teammates David (whose father was also helping him dress), "Are you Christian?"

I was generally surprised by the question, as I felt it rather direct and even potentially touchy.  None of this (to my shame?) had ever come up before, & in the rush of my thinking & feeling, in part because I assumed David's family were nonbelievers since they themselves had never brought up the subject all season, I sought to soften the situation, & asked with a smile, "Why do you ask, Jadon?"

David's dad already had begun answering, & said rather sheepishly, "Yeeeaahhh, we are, but we aren't practicing.  We don't really go to church or anything.  Hockey keeps us really busy."  Of note, David didn't say a word but steadily continued to dress for practice.

I continued the conversation with a concession, "It IS pretty hard with hockey and other activities."

Jadon's own concession hit me even harder, "Yeah, we aren't really practicing either."

Sometime afterward on different days, I asked his Evangelina & Jadon what they thought was most important to Daddy & Mommy among church, hockey, piano, & family time.  I asked them to rank these things one through four, based on what they think is important to us especially when there are conflicting events on our family schedule.  Their answers were sad, especially when they seemed to understand what God's priorities are.  (See scanned document.)

O Lord, forgive me as an errant father.  Help me to live such that our children know You are number one in our lives, that You are to be joyfully worshiped above all others, & that You are worthy of the worship of all.

Overweening parents perhaps?

A few things Jadon said a few days ago seemed to underline how Jadon's life is rather sheltered, naive, & perhaps overmanaged by medically savvy parents (or so we like to think):

1. As part of the group game "Like Minds" (which he & partner cousin Joelle won; incidentally this was 2nd time we played this game even though JJ'd given the game to Sid in 2004) during our New Year's gathering, we had to write down as many things as possible to sprinkle on our food.  Most of us wrote down "salt" & "pepper"... Jadon wrote down "kale"!

2. Another answer he called out when the category was "problems of teenagers": "ick-nee"

3. Later that evening he was reading Shel Silverstein's book Every Thing On It, and we read a few poems together, including "Before the Race":

Mr. Flack tells his son Jack,

"Run hard -- with no excuses."

Mr. Brill tells his son Will

He'll kill him if he loses.

Mr. Drew tells little Lou

"Be fearless but beware,"

And little Trace, he won the race

(His father wasn't there).

Jadon immediately turned to me & said, "Exactly."